I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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