Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
