her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
