If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
