great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
