He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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