I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
