I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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