I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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