I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
