i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
