Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
