Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I supernannyed him into submission
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
