So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
