oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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