I can text with my tongue
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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