Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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