Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
