Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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