She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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