How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
