She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
