THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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