Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
