sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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