Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
