he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize