i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
