is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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