I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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