I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
