what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
