I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Houston, we have a blender
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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