I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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