stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He told me they were just razor bumps!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
