yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
