i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
