chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She bit a glass in half.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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