he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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