he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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