I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
