nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
