Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize