one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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