Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
