my room smells like sperm. sweet.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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