He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
