why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
