Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
