the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
