Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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