This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
A bitchslap is in order.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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