super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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