Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
