i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
