that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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