life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
