Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize