If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
