I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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