my sisters under your porch take her home
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
