Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
