your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
