Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
