Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
