if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
