I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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