I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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