The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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