STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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