my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize