i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
