Yo dont text me then not text me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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