wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize