i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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