How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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