I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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