Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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