Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
