do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize