I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
